It’s not what it says; it’s what it doesn’t say.

In June, ancient alien theorists were understandably let down by the much-anticipated Pentagon report detailing decades of U.S. military contact with unidentified flying objects.

“The limited amount of high-quality reporting on unidentified aerial phenomena (UAP) hampers our ability to draw firm conclusions about the nature or intent of UAP,” concluded the report’s authors, vaguely.

“Inconclusive” doesn’t quite cover the 9 page report, which detailed 144 instances of contact with UAP from 2004–2021. Of those 144 incidents, 143 remain unexplained. 18 of the instances involved a demonstration of technology well beyond any currently known capabilities.

“In a limited number of incidents, UAP reportedly appeared to exhibit unusual flight characteristics,” couched the report in careful military parlance: “These observations could be the result of sensor errors, spoofing, or observer misperception and require additional rigorous analysis.”

Since an explosive 2017 New York Times report on a mysterious, top-secret U.S. military U.F.O. program, videos, rumors and wild speculations have abounded. Yet, until recently the Pentagon had staunchly refused to confirm the legitimacy of any such reports.

On the other hand, the U.S. military has, arguably, been preparing us for this disclosure, such as it is, ever since. Some mysterious videos have been inexplicably shared with the public in the past years; others have been leaked.

With the publication of this report, what have we really learned?

We learned that the military prefers to call these encounters unidentified aerial phenomena (UAP), probably to distinguish themselves from ancient alien theorists. Beyond that, the report didn’t reveal much we didn’t already know; the U.S. military has seen things in these skies which they cannot explain, but for which a terrestrial explanation might still exist.

Those hoping for a revelation were disappointed. Maybe they shouldn’t be.

True, a mysterious, cigarette-smoking, government official did not provide irrefutable evidence of a massive, global conspiracy to hide the existence of extraterrestrial life forms.

The report was more interesting for what it didn’t say than for what it did.

Does the report strongly suggest explanations beyond the mundane? Are there really forces at work beyond the odd “large deflating balloon” or “atmospheric illusion”?

Depends on what you believe.

Do you believe the U.S. government and military industrial complex are: A.) not that serious; B.) slightly serious; or, C.) VERY Serious, about unidentified aircraft in U.S. airspace?

On a scale of 1 to 10- 1 being “not at all concerned” and 10 being “just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t after you,”- where do you think the U.S. government falls on the U.S. airspace security paranoia scale?

If you guessed 10, you’re probably partially correct. Seriousness about U.S. airspace security was probably already at a 10 after the surprise bombing of Pearl Harbor during World War II.

The military doesn’t like surprises.

How do you think the Cold War impacted U.S. military dedication to securing U.S. airspace?

Then, 9/11 happened. And while it wasn’t a sneak attack carried out by a foreign power, not exactly, it was a sneak attack using U.S. airspace.

Do you believe the U.S. military complex became more, or less, serious about U.S. airspace security after 9/11? If the government knows how to do anything, it’s shut the barn door long after the cows are out.

As far as satellite surveillance of U.S airspace goes, do you think technology has improved over the past decades?

Considering that stealth technology is constantly being developed by the U.S. government, at least as much attention is likely being paid to preventing other nations from using stealth technology to surveil us.

Do you believe other countries are developing tech in secret?

How secret?

Secret advanced tech is only a strategic advantage if it stays a secret.

It is difficult to prove a negative. It would be impossible to prove these anomalies aren’t part of some world government’s clandestine air force.

“The chances of this technology being Russian or Chinese is infinitesimally small,” says former CIA officer Jim Semivan, who now helps run an organization dedicated to studying UAP. “These things have been flying around since the ’40s, and the Russians would have won the Cold War if they had this technology back then.”

U.S. officials seem to have come to the same mystifying conclusion: “We do not have any data that indicates that any of these unidentified air phenomena are part of a foreign collection program nor do we have any data that is indicative of a major technological advancement by a potential adversary.”

Furthermore, just because stealth technology exists, doesn’t mean all these sightings are glimpses at the advanced spy technology of foreign nations, whose capability- hopefully- doesn’t so far exceed our own.

After all, jetpacks exist. A company called Gravity Industries has nearly perfected a design.

One of these little beauties can be yours (sort of) for upwards of $500,000. The upshot is you’ll have your own jetpack; the downside, besides the prohibitive price tag, is you aren’t even allowed to take it off company property for a test drive.

So, jetpacks exist now. But is the so-called “Jetpack Guy”- who has been periodically buzzing the Los Angeles airport- really: A.) a person wearing a (possibly homemade) jetpack of unknown capabilities; B.) a drone outfitted to look like a person wearing a jetpack; or C.) something else?

Gravity Industries issued a statement disavowing any knowledge of Jetpack Guy, pointing out that their prototype doesn’t hold enough fuel to get anyone to 3,000 feet and back to the ground again safely.

Then Jet Pack Guy went to 6,000 feet.

There have been further sightings, and videos, of Jet Pack Guy. And yet, he remains a mystery. Whether or not he is still a mystery to the U.S. government, however, is another matter.

We haven’t heard anything from Jet Pack Guy in awhile, and no additional jokesters, if that is what they are, have shown up.

The strangest thing about Jet Pack Guy, and other UAP, isn’t that they exist, but that the U.S. military complex, with all its redoubtable might, technology and paranoia, can offer no explanation.

(contributing writer, Brooke Bell)